With many league’s draft days in the past and opening Sunday just two days away, the fantasy buzz is at its peak. Over 75 million people are expected to start this NFL season as a fantasy owner, which means there will be plenty of good, bad and just plain awful strategies. But despite the sheer masses that will flock to their devices when Antonio Brown scores his first touchdown or when Eli Manning puts up another unconventional win, the fantasy football world can be divided into three categories.
- In over your head
- Too loyal for your own good
- The newbie
I’ll begin with the In over your head owner. This type of owner is the person in every league. Literally. The friend who everyone has who is still talking about winning four leagues last season, even though they were in 12. They also find great enjoyment in constantly trading or watching the waiver wire, because they have looked at so many different teams and set so many starting lineups they’ve begun to forget who they actually have on their team.
But most importantly this is the fantasy player who insists there be a punishment for the ultimate loser, because even though they only won four of 12 leagues last year, they most certainly didn’t get last because they have a solid grasp of the fantasy world. Mainly because they spend ridiculous and unnecessary amounts of time trying to name their team. I know because I’ve been there.
The second type of fantasy owner is what I call the Too loyal for your own good owner. Usually this person is in just one league, maybe two if they’re really feeling fantasy that year, but this owner composes his team with at least 50 percent of players from his/her favorite team. This strategy is great in theory, but generally when you are halfway through the season you have hit what I call a double-dose of football depression, because if your favorite team performs poorly, your fantasy team is in direct correlation.
Most of these owners are found among the loyal fan bases of the NFL and it can most commonly be seen as a poor decision among Cowboy’s fans. Sorry Jerry.
Finally, the type of owner that always keeps draft day entertaining and generally gives up by week four, The Newbie. Now this owner’s name says it all, they’re new to fantasy, sometimes they’re new to football in general and they rarely set their lineup for 16 straight weeks. Often times this is the last person to join the league because you needed an eighth player and you can almost count on them to draft a kicker or a defense in the first five rounds. This player also hates the idea of an ultimate loser, because well they generally know going in they have a good chance to be it.
There is also somewhat of a sub-category to the newbie. Occasionally this can also be the owner that joins a league to make a point or statement about fantasy. Generally they try and prove that fantasy doesn’t take talent and is all luck. Fortunately, for those of us who respect the art, they quickly learn otherwise when their starting quarterback hasn’t put up any points in three weeks because they were suspended for the first four games.
Now I know there are exceptions to every generalization, but I can almost guarantee if you can label these players in your own league you’ll have a leg up on everyone else and who knows it could be you hoisting the meaningless high school accomplishment turned coveted fantasy football trophy in December.