Time is cruel.
It feels like four years have gone by faster than I could say “Convergence Journalism Major” and now I don’t know what comes next. How do I cope with the realization that after years of going to school, I’ll be leaving the only life I can remember? In kindergarten – learning colors, words, and how to make friends. In high school – learning economics, Shakespeare, and algebraic equations I’ll never use in real life. In college – learning journalism, psychology, and how to design a really good resume. I can’t remember a life before school. I only know multiple-choice scantron tests, small metal desks, and returning to school every August like clockwork. It has been my life for so long. It is comfortable, it is safe, and now it is slipping through my fingers faster than I can grip.
I graduate in about three weeks and no, I don’t know what I’m doing after that. This is the end of the longest chapter of my life so far and I don’t know what’s going to come next or even how to handle it when it gets here – I only know that it’s coming. It’s coming, it’s coming, it’s coming, and the more I ask God to slow down the days, the faster they go.
If you’re anything like me, then the idea of not knowing what to do probably gives you anxiety and keeps you up at night. But I do know that in Ephesians, it says that God “is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of – infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.” In this overwhelming season of life, I take comfort in that. If I have big dreams for myself, how much bigger are God’s plans for me? God would not give me the ability to dream without the opportunity to make my dreams a reality.
So, what do you do when you don’t know what to do? You take it one day at a time. There are still three weeks of homework, research papers, projects, and final exams separating me from post-grad life. Though senioritis is real and motivation is hard to find, I still have to make it through the final stretch of this marathon – but I also just need a quick water break. And maybe a nap.