My marriage of 22 years ended the 30th of December, 2002 when my final divorce hearing was held. The divorce was not my idea and the reason my spouse has or had makes no difference in the broad scheme of things.

What I see as a travesty is the fact that there are no winners in divorce-just losers. I compare the emotional pain of divorce to having your heart ripped out of your chest and then having it stomped on as you watch helplessly. Nothing anyone can say or do can ease the emotional pain. Whether you lose custody of the children, income, status, friends, or even your church family, you actually both lose in the long run.

I know divorces happen every day, and it should make no difference in the long run, right? Just another failed marriage to go in the record books to be filed away for future demographics reports. I beg all of you who are contemplating divorce to please reconsider because there are no winners in a divorce. Try counseling; talk to your pastor, a friend, or anyone because nothing any one of you could do is worth going through a divorce.

No one ever plans on getting divorced, or they would never get married. Perhaps people should be more careful about whom or why they marry, then there wouldn’t be so many divorces. I guess the key thing I am trying to get across is that before considering or filing for a divorce, try to reconcile. If you try to reconcile at least you have done everything you possibly can without just walking out on your partner. Remember the real loser is not only you and your partner but your kids.

Ron Majors
Working on a Masters Degree in Christian Ministry