Those malevolent, malicious administrators. They must hate us.

I just can’t see any other reason for the fact that they force us poor, oppressed students to attend Chapel day in and day out.

They must hate the students.

I mean why else would they force us to come together and worship God every single day of the week without letting us have any voice in the matter? They couldn’t possibly have any good reason for doing it.

Chapel is stupid, superfluous, soporific.

They’ve only been alive twice as long as we have; that means nothing. What do they know about life? We’ve been alive 20 years, in fact some of us have even been alive as long as 21 or 22 years. When we were young, admittedly, we were ignorant, but no longer; now we’ve become so old, and wise, I’m sure we know what’s best. Do I get an Amen? I bet I know just as much now about what is good for me, and what is not, as I will at their age. And I’m quite sure that when I’m in their place I will never be so obdurate in forcing younger people to do something that is so obviously harmful to them.

In fact, maybe we should do something about it. Like hold a boycott. I mean, I know that the generations before us protested for causes like women’s suffrage, civil rights, Vietnam, Korea. And, in fact, cities all over the globe recently protested the unjust war that is about to occur. But what are life and death, human liberties, and unjust war, when Chapel is on the line? Someone, please, stop them before they destroy us all.

Mark Wiebe
graduate student from Watertown, N.Y.