By Kyle Peveto, Arts Editor

Column Schmolumn

Here’s to the class of 2003.

Thank you for all the good times. Remember when we stole the door off that guy’s dorm room freshman year? That was funny. Remember when he didn’t come back to school the next semester? What happened to that guy?

We’ve had a lot of good times. No, great times.

But now you gotta go and leave. We came in together, but y’all are deserting me at a crucial point in my college education. Next May I’m gonna look around Moody and see the class of 2004. And I’ll think, “Wow, these guys are so young. I remember only yesterday when I was leading their Welcome Week group.” Or I’ll think, “Isn’t that my little brother in club graduating? Isn’t he two years younger than me? Overachiever.”

There are lots of reasons why someone might graduate a whole year late. Serious illness is one of those reasons. I never had one. Failing classes is another reason. Nope, never failed one o’ those.

Could it be that the student seriously lacked ambition and took the minimum amount of hours allowed to be a full-time student? Yeah, that’s me.

Don’t look down on us fifth-years. We’re not dumber than you. We’re actually smarter.

The “real world” will come to us soon enough. It’s coming to you over achievers right now. In two weeks you’ll be knee deep in the post-college life. I’ve got a whole extra year.

We’ll probably still retire around the same time. So, there. I just grabbed an extra non-adult year out of life that you won’t have. So throw all your little graduation parties. I’ll be there. In September you’ll be envying me.

Obligatory shout out to all my former and current roommates who are graduating: Way to go Jeremy Smith and Daniel Clark.