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You are here: Home / Opinion / Columns / Atypical Abilene: fines and crimes

Atypical Abilene: fines and crimes

August 27, 2003 by Jonathan Smith

By Jonathan Smith, Managing Editor

“Do you like it out in Abilene?” It’s a question that almost is certainly asked anytime I go back home to my hometown.

I’ll get this out of the way now; I love ACU, and there is no college that I’d rather be at. But that’s not what they asked. They want to know about the city that I’ve managed not to explore in the one year I’ve been here.

I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I really do like Abilene. I can’t say it’s because of all the things I’ve found to do in this town or because of the sites and scenery. Abilene has this strange knack for finding its way into national headlines. Stuff happens in Abilene that just doesn’t happen anywhere else.

Just earlier this month, a 91-year-old man was arrested for allegedly robbing a bank here in Abilene. He was caught in part because for some reason the 91-year-old was unable to flee from the scene of his alleged $2,000 heist before a witness got his license plate number.

And topping the list of “Things that only happen in Abilene,” check out the website www.dumblaws.com.

According to the website, there is an actual law in Abilene that makes it “illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.”

I don’t know what is more surprising about this supposed law: that it actually could exist or that the Abilene Police Dept. hasn’t been out to ACU to make a killing in fines. With over 1,000 freshmen and transfer students arriving for Welcome Week last week, there were probably no less than 1,000 violators who could have been forced to pay the fine in one week alone.

Some might call this oppressive or ridiculous; I call it Abilene. The strange intricacies of Abilene that I’ve come to expect keep things interesting.

Where else could you be forced to spend money on a girl even before a first date?

Filed Under: Columns

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About Jonathan Smith

You are here: Home / Opinion / Columns / Atypical Abilene: fines and crimes

Other Opinion:

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