By Jaci Schneider, Opinion Editor

Much Ado About Something

Jell-O. An ingenious food. A great thing about Jell-O is its tendency to spark random conversations at lunch tables all over the world. Last year, my friends included me in one of their ongoing Jell-O queries.

What would happen if a person jumped into a pool of congealed Jell-O?

Would the person bounce or sink into the colorful pool? If they sunk, would they be able to swim, or would they drown?

At first it sounds like a silly question, but really think about it. Picture it in your head. After a few seconds, you will be fully intrigued.

Well, after rehashing the same discussion over several Bean lunches last year, I decided to do some research.

I began my quest by visiting www.jell-o.com, where, to my dismay, I did not find a link leading me to answers of random questions.

I did, however, learn some very interesting history about Jell-O. If you happen to have some spare time, I would recommend the site-very entertaining.

After my slight detour and history lesson, I found a path that let me ask questions of the Jell-O gods. Delighted, I sent my question into the vast abyss of cyberspace, hoping that it would reach the far-away gods.

A couple of days passed, and I slowly forgot about my mission. Then one afternoon, my phone rang. A woman on the other line identified herself as a Kraft Foods representative. Perplexed, it took me a few seconds to realize that I had in fact reached the gods.

The woman on the other line seemed as perplexed as I had felt moments before. Apparently, she tends to answer questions about Jell-O molds and flavor combinations, not swimming pools.

“Jell-O is a food product, so I can’t officially answer your question,” the woman told me, almost with a laugh.

Dismayed, I fought back tears of defeat. But she wasn’t done yet.

“If you did try it, you would need a really cold day,” she said. “Or a really big refrigerator.”

If not, I would just have a big pool of colored water.

She wished me luck with my quest and hung up the phone. I have a feeling that our conversation became the water cooler topic of the day.

Although, my question was not completely answered, I did not give up hope.

I have a plea to all physics majors. You know about this stuff. Can we figure it out? Let me know.

Finally, I plan to plead with David Letterman to attempt the experiment. He has money, and I’m sure he’s crazy enough.

For my sake, and to satiate all our curiosity, write him a letter. He can’t ignore us forever.