The Optimist
  • Home
  • About
    • Advertise
    • Policies
    • Staff Contacts
    • Jobs
  • News
  • Sports
  • Opinion
    • Columns
    • Editorials
  • Multimedia
    • Photo Galleries
    • Videos
  • Features
  • Print Edition
    • The Pessimist
    • Special Projects
  • Police Log
  • Classifieds
You are here: Home / Opinion / Columns / Life’s problems require unorthodox thinking

Life’s problems require unorthodox thinking

April 24, 2009 by Tanner Anderson

By Tanner Anderson, Page Editor

Some president famously once said, “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”

Well, my fellow Wildcats, after months of pontificating and weeks of scouring through dictionaries to find out what the word pontificating even means, here are some options that will hopefully do some good for our country.

Problem 1: Price of oil and gasoline

Option: Since filling up an entire tank of gas still is economically painful, let us save by using public transportation. Now some of you might say there is no way you ever will travel on a bus or dart rail. Well that is fine, but I bet you would use public transportation if it were the most ridiculous roller coaster you have ever seen in your entire life. Instead of having buses and dart rails, let us make a gigantic roller coaster, which drops the public off to their desired location. This means an improvement in punctuality, whether it is getting to school, work or any other important function. I mean, who would want to miss a ride on a roller coaster; besides women who are pregnant and people who have heart conditions?

Problem 2: Obama nay-sayers and Obama evangelists

Option: It is becoming old hearing about both Obama nay-sayers and Obama evangelists. One side screams socialism and the destruction of our democracy, while the other side screams stimulus salvation. This is before any type of economic “change” has a chance to sprout from the ground. Let something happen first before you jump on one side of the teeter-totter; sheesh.

And if you say Obama has had months to turn the economy around, well it took more than several months for people to deteriorate our economy. It will take some time for it to get back on track; this would be true if the president was Democratic or Republican.

My suggestion is after Obama’s term, the American people choose their favorite presidents; these two or more presidents that receive the most votes then will be cloned into a super president. I think a George Washington Taft Reagan Jr. could do wonders for us. Or we could bring back the Whig party.

Problem 3: CEO’s and their multi-million-dollar severance packages

Option: Another item becoming old quickly is seeing CEO’s of major companies that have been bailed out by the government treating themselves to millions of dollars in severance packages. These selfish white-collar thieves do not even have the common courtesy to rob the American people while wearing masks. So if these CEO’s find themselves worthy of this pay grade, they should find a solution to our slumping economy.

If they do not solve the problem, we should put all of these offenders on an island in the middle of nowhere with one single crisp dollar bill and watch them fight to the death for it. Or if you do not believe in capital punishment, we can seal them off in a room separated from the rest of humanity and let them play the board game Monopoly for the rest of their days. At least they will have fun.

Now these options may not seem “logical,” but people thought the same way about Isaac Newton and his “theories.” So years later, when the days of high priced gasoline and depressing economy are just a distant memory, do not be surprised if you are thanking George Washington Taft Reagan Jr. and chanting, “Four more years.”

Filed Under: Columns

Other Opinion:

  • Tariffs are the last thing struggling students need

  • Gen Z won the election for Donald Trump

  • A Swift rebuke: When it comes to politics, celebrities just do not get it

About Tanner Anderson

You are here: Home / Opinion / Columns / Life’s problems require unorthodox thinking

Other Opinion:

  • Tariffs are the last thing struggling students need

  • Gen Z won the election for Donald Trump

  • A Swift rebuke: When it comes to politics, celebrities just do not get it

Follow us online

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Optimist on Twitter

acuoptimist The Optimist @acuoptimist ·
30 Mar

Sing Song 2025 Awards Women’s Division:

Vocals:
1. Ko Jo Kai
2. Sigma Theta Chi
3. Delta Theta

Entertainment:
1. Sigma Theta Chi
2. Ko Jo Kai
3. Delta Theta

Note: An earlier post included a spelling error, so we have since updated it for accuracy.

Reply on Twitter 1906348770293317827 Retweet on Twitter 1906348770293317827 Like on Twitter 1906348770293317827 Twitter 1906348770293317827
acuoptimist The Optimist @acuoptimist ·
30 Mar

Sing Song 2025 Awards Class Division:

Overall Award:
1. Freshman Purple
2. Freshman White
3. Seniors

Reply on Twitter 1906188185371034000 Retweet on Twitter 1906188185371034000 Like on Twitter 1906188185371034000 3 Twitter 1906188185371034000

Optimist on Facebook

The Optimist

11 months ago

The Optimist

Video

View on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

The Optimist

1 years ago

The Optimist
"Ending my college education early was always the plan for me, but the things that I have been able to see, experience and examine about ACU’s community were not. I have found immense growth in ACU over the past three and a half years, but ACU still has a long road to climb if it wants to keep catering to students as the world changes around them." To read more of this article visit acuoptimist ... See MoreSee Less

Photo

View on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Videos

Optimist Newscast Feb. 28, 2024

Our top stories today include a recap of The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, the ... [Read More…]

  • Optimist Newscast Feb. 21, 2024
  • Optimist Newscast Feb. 14, 2024
  • Optimist Newscast Jan. 24, 2024

Latest Photos

1
2
3
4
5
PrevNext
  • Home
  • About
    • Contact
    • Subscribe
    • Policies
    • Advertising Policy
    • Letters to the Editor and Reader Comments
  • News
  • Sports
  • Opinion
    • Columns
    • Editorials
  • Multimedia
    • Videos
    • Photo Galleries
  • Features
  • Advertise
    • Paid Advertisement
  • Police Log

© 2025 ACU Optimist · All Rights Reserved