You know you’re a Church of Christ kid if you’ve been on the wrong end of a disfellowshipping joke. I like to consider myself well versed in the doctrinal heritage of the Church of Christ, but this practice is quite foreign to me.

Growing up, I knew only two things about disfellowshipping: it wasn’t something you wanted to happen to you, and you weren’t supposed to call it excommunication. After 18 years of church camp and a college education, I’m still a little fuzzy on the details. That is, until I spent the past week researching exactly this topic.

For those who are unfamiliar with the practice, it is a way to discipline members who refuse to repent of a sin. It is supported by several New Testament Scriptures, the most common of which is Matthew 18:15-17.

This passage outlines the “procedure” a Christian should follow if “your brother sins against you.” First, you should go to him alone and tell him of his fault. If he doesn’t listen, take a few people with you. If he blows them off, too, take it to the church. If the whole church can’t convince this guy to cut it out, “treat him as you would a pagan or tax collector.” In other words, show him the door.

While that sounds harsh in theory, it is. God is serious about removing yourself from anything that distracts, tempts or separates you from him. Sin being the ultimate separation, staying away from hardened sinners would seem like the best choice. Many church leaders also argue disfellowshipping causes the excluded member to feel lonely and desire reconciliation with the family and with God.

That’s just not true. I think exclusion is going to be written on the epitaphs of churches across the country. Exclusion is not a sign of compassion; it is, in fact, a sign of failure. It is the church’s symbolic way of washing its hands of “impossible” cases. To disfellowship someone is to give up on them.

I’m a young Christian, and I am not a theologian. I can, though, grasp the concept of a perfect and jealous God. I understand Christianity requires sacrifice and sanctity. I do not subscribe to the anything-goes-because-my-buddy-Jesus-loves-me-no-matter-what kind of faith. But, correct me if I’m wrong, Jesus died for us while we were still sinners.

And we’re going to refuse to share a pew with one?