I realize that my target audience probably won’t read this, but I feel the need to address them anyway. I’d like to take a moment to address everyone who refuses to pick up a copy of the Optimist after Chapel.

Now, before anyone gets offended, let me explain myself.

I understand that everyone has their reasons for not taking a copy of the paper. Maybe they plan to read it online. Maybe they’re environmentally conscious and want to save paper. Maybe they’re in a rush get to the Bean before everyone else. Or maybe they just don’t want to.

The paper comes out every Wednesday and Friday. On those days the Optimist staff stands in the concourse of Moody Coliseum with stacks of newspapers waiting for Chapel to be dismissed so we can hand the papers out to the swarm of departing students, faculty and staff.

Let me point out that while we are waiting we are hungry, our hands are getting stained with ink and we work extremely hard on each issue of the paper. We print it for you and we want it to be read.

There are several methods I’ve seen people use to avoid taking a copy of the Optimist.

One method people use is to politely say “no thank you” when they are offered a paper. To those people I say “thank YOU.” Even though you didn’t take a paper, you did so politely and we appreciate that.

The most common method is to avoid eye contact and ignore the person trying to hand you a newspaper. To this I say, no one appreciates being treated like a newspaper rack instead of a newspaper staff member. The least you could do is say “no thanks.”

There is one final method a few people use to avoid taking a paper, whether they realize it or not. They flinch. To these people I would like to very gently point out that the paper will not hurt them… and we don’t bite.

There are several outlets, besides the newspaper, that allow you to keep up with the Optimist. There’s Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, the iPad and iPhone apps and, of course, the website. I don’t like to brag, but we are the best source for on-campus news. And staying up to date with on-campus news is critical because, believe it or not, it does affect you.

And to all the people who are reading this now because they accepted a paper after Chapel, I haven’t forgotten you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart and my ink-stained fingertips.