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You are here: Home / Opinion / Editorials / The faux-pocalypse: a preparation guide

The faux-pocalypse: a preparation guide

December 7, 2012 by Optimist Editorial Board

As the Mayan calendar comes to an end and a sense of panic fills the air, many people are looking for tips for how to survive the end of the world.

We would like to provide you, not with advice for the Armageddon, but with ways to survive the people who actually believe the end of the world is near.

One in 10 people in the world believe the world is ending on Dec. 21. About 700 million people are going to act like Dec. 20 will be their last day of normal life.

So we’ve come up with a few ways to navigate these people in a safe and possibly even fun manner. Make the most of these believers’ last day on earth.

1. Plan ahead.

You might want to check out those Armageddon movies ahead of time to prevent being disappointed by their disappearance off the shelves in Hastings. Look for Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, The Day After Tomorrow, The Road, Wall-E and, of course, 2012. These movies will help you set the right kind of mood.

2. Be smart

People preparing for the apocalypse usually go to one place: Wal-mart. They’ve got to stock up on those essentials. So avoid Wal-mart and other similar places on Dec. 20. Or if your cable is out, bring a lawn chair and enjoy watching the madness unfold.

Even if you’ve never played the stock market, now is the prime time to start. Investing in weapon or ammunition companies will pay off once the world doesn’t end. With all of the believers buying survival equipment, these companies will profit, and so can you.

3. Take advantage of opportunities

Don’t be afraid to use the end of the world as an excuse. Taking off work, not paying bills and doing exciting things all make sense if you believe the world is ending. Your boss will excuse your paranoia. And why not use this as an opportunity to go on that dangerous adventure your loved ones have denied. Go sky diving. Bungee-jump off a cliff. Take a swim with some sharks. The world is your playground. But please, keep it reasonable. Remember the world is not actually ending.

4. Love is all you need

The end of the world has given us a gift: the best pick-up line ever. Does that pretty girl in your geology class slightly believe the end is coming? Then this is the prime time to ask her on a date. People are more willing to give love a chance when they believe their time is running out. They rearrange their priorities and realize love is all they need.  So be brave and go ahead and say, “I know the Mayans were wrong because I can definitely see our future together.”

With these tips, hopefully you can stay safe and even benefit from the craze that will undoubtedly shake the world on the Mayan’s doomsday.

So from us at the Optimist, we are signing out- maybe for the last time. Good luck.

Filed Under: Editorials

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About Optimist Editorial Board

You are here: Home / Opinion / Editorials / The faux-pocalypse: a preparation guide

Other Opinion:

  • Tariffs are the last thing struggling students need

  • Gen Z won the election for Donald Trump

  • A Swift rebuke: When it comes to politics, celebrities just do not get it

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acuoptimist The Optimist @acuoptimist ·
30 Mar

Sing Song 2025 Awards Women’s Division:

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"Ending my college education early was always the plan for me, but the things that I have been able to see, experience and examine about ACU’s community were not. I have found immense growth in ACU over the past three and a half years, but ACU still has a long road to climb if it wants to keep catering to students as the world changes around them." To read more of this article visit acuoptimist ... See MoreSee Less

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