Journalism majors are notoriously bad at math. But after hearing the motivational speaker who rolled into Chapel on his motorcycle a few weeks ago attempt to encourage us by saying, “We chase big dreams because we are constantly surrounded by mediocrity,” it indicated that some math needed to be done in order to determine just how mediocre ACU is.
After receiving statistics from ACU’s office of Institutional Research and Assessment, we are able to calculate exactly what makes the most mediocre or average student here on campus. Here’s how it breaks down.
The student population is 57 percent female and 43 percent male so that makes our average student automatically a woman. The average age out of the 3,727 undergraduate students is 20.5. Factor in that 69.3 percent of our student body is white and 17 percent are from Taylor County, and we have ourselves the basis for our most average student: a 20-year-old white female from Abilene.
Despite popular belief, 75 percent of students are not in a social club, so even though our 20-year-old average woman is probably a sophomore, odds are she didn’t pledge. She probably lives in Sikes or Barret, the largest housing options for our mediocre target, and is probably enrolled in the average 14.6 hours of classes. It will probably take her the average 8.36 semesters to graduate, or a little over four years.
But these statistics could probably be found at a number of similar institutions. The average ACU student would be able to boast some characteristics that are not so typical of other universities.
Over the last five years, more than a quarter of the undergraduate student body participated in intramural football, basketball, soccer, softball and volleyball. That means she probably doesn’t play waterball””it’s a sport for only the few that have no fear of drowning. Over 25 percent participated in Sing Song and Freshman Follies, but our average student probably only did it because all her friends were, not because she’s a vocal performance major. It’s more likely that she resides in COBA where management is the most common major, with 6 percent of all undergraduate students, and accounting majors claiming a close 5 percent.
Although there are no statistics for some of the ACU-characterized data, we can extrapolate based upon the most vocalized generalizations. As we reach the end of the semester, our average student probably doesn’t have enough Chapel credits but has plenty of Bean Bucks. She has probably never checked a book out from the library but has made many last-minute runs to Whataburger before curfew.
If you or someone you know falls terrifyingly close to many of these average identifiers, don’t be offended. If you are a white female from Abilene who is excited to be in Sing Song next semester and is worried about your management test next week, we’re glad you’re here. You inspire us to dream big, to not be so mediocre.