Today I’m going against Jim Mora’s wishes and talking about playoffs. You know, that little mini-tournament teams play in at the end of the year which claims to crown a league champion, but really only determines which team plays the best in cold weather? Yes, playoffs. Oh, you still don’t know what I’m talking about? You’ve never heard of playoffs? You must be a Cowboys fan.
Men’s Champs League
The regular season concluded Tuesday night with a matchup between first-place MACC Attack and basement-dwellers Boyz in Motion.
MACC Attack will more than likely have finished first following Tuesday night’s game, going undefeated in the regular season in the process. The Attack’s accounting boys have helped bridge the gap between nerds and jocks this season, proving that counting by seven is the easiest way to balance the books at the end of a game.
MACC Attack captain Corban Brown believes his team has a distinct advantage with John David Baker at the helm.
“I think JD’s biggest asset is his beard,” Brown said. “I mean obviously he is a NCAA Div. I caliber quarterback, but who isn’t these days? Beard intimidation is one of those intangibles that goes a long way when the game is on the line.”
As the top seed, Brown knows MACC Attack is the target for all other teams. He believes his mathematicians are up to the challenge.
“Joey McKillop always tells our team that ‘legends are born on the intramural fields, and heroes go through puberty in the endzone,'” Brown said. “We’ll be disappointed if we come away with anything but the championship.”
Sub T-16 remained in second after wrapping up its schedule last week. While the rest of the teams battled for tightly-contested playoff positioning, the Subbers used the time off to get a jump on other clubs in preparing for Sing Song in spring.
Galaxy finished alongside Sub T at 4-1 after an important 13-7 win over GSP on Thursday. Hunter Rhyne, Galaxy’s intramural director, credits the win to Moonie superstar Phillip Holeman. Holeman proclaims himself to be the “Terrell Owens of flag football.”
“(Phillip) caught one touchdown and played great defense,” Rhyne said. “We often call Phil ‘the man’ and that’s exactly what he was on Thursday.”
Looking ahead to playoffs, Rhyne is confident in his team’s ability to beat any other team that takes the field.
“We are currently preparing for playoffs by having team water aerobics on the weekends,” Rhyne said. “We don’t really care who we play, as long as they’re past their prime and outta shape, just like us.”
Women’s Champs League
Last week, we witnessed two of the most entertaining games of the season.
Sigma Theta Chi defeated Ko Jo Kai, 14-13, and took hold of the second seed position heading into the playoffs. The matchup had all the features of a heated rivalry, and ESPN has taken notice. The network will broadcast next year’s Siggie-KJK game, halftime show and all, to a national audience. ACU is looking forward to the opportunity to finally have a high-caliber football game broadcast on national television.
Eta Pi had already clinched first place heading into its contest against The Heat, but the opportunity for a perfect season remained enticing. In what may be deemed the upset of the season, The Heat eventually forced Eta Pi’s perfect season bid to crumble, winning 14-13.
Bethany Lebeau, captain for The Heat, knows this was a big confidence boost for her team which will head into playoffs as the third seed.
After Eta Pi captain, Marissa Mueller, said Eta Pi was out to “beat The Heat,” Lebeau responded, “Um, what? Was that supposed to be a hard win? We had no idea.”
Lebeau believes her team was underestimated by Mueller’s Eta Pi.
“Maybe next time you should estimate me,” Lebeau said, quoting Michael Scott from The Office.
Lebeau plans for her team to ride this momentum through the playoffs and coast to the championship.
“We’re not (preparing for playoffs) because we don’t need to,” she said.
Time will tell if Lebeau’s words come back to haunt her like Mueller’s did.
The playoff schedules have not been released, but the first round of games will likely take place next week for both men’s and women’s champs leagues.