This summer, while most students were off on mission trip or internships, I had my own mission: I watched James Bond movies.
Now, contradictory to what you may be thinking, this was not time wasted. James Bond taught me a lot about the world.
Lesson #1: Bad guys are stupid and like cats
James Bond taught me that it’s always easy to foil a villain’s plan. In the first movie, “Dr. No,” Bond is captured by the evil doctor, but escapes from his cell through a vent covered in chicken wire. Evil geniuses can never remember to properly secure a holding cell.
He then dresses up as worker, walks around the evil lab and somehow makes the whole island explode by flipping a switch. See? Easy. Easy as pie.
Also, the ultimate super villain takes his fluffy white cat everywhere – on missions, to board meetings, to fight James Bond – everywhere.
So now I’m fairly confident in my ability to defeat any villain.
Lesson #2: Puns matter
In the third film, “Goldfinger“, Bond pushes a incompetent villain into a bathtub and throws an electric heater in with him, instantly electrocuting him. Bond shakes his head and says, “Shocking. Positively shocking.”
These painful puns are the life blood of early James Bond films, and they taught me the importance of a good pun. When used at the right moment, a pun can elevate you from a competent MI6 agent to the most famous spy in the world. So, if there’s any opportunity for a pun? Any opportunity at all? I take it.
Lesson #3: If you crash your car, it will explode
If you’re watching a Bond movie you can bet there will be a nail-biting car chase, and these chases almost always end with the bad guy driving his car off the road, which causes the car to explode.
This has turned me into a more careful driver. I mean, the thug’s car barely touches a tree and the whole vehicle goes up in flames – no survivors, no remains.
Lesson #4: Pick-up lines work
He’s suave, he’s smooth and the ladies love him. Bond’s one-liners seem to always work, even though they’re usually pretty bad. You’d think women would learn to stay away from him because most of his girlfriends are killed, but they never do.
I’m convinced dedicating my summer to watch these movies significantly improved my life and was not a waste of time. It’s practically like taking summer school, but for free.
Maybe I’ll be productive again next summer and take lessons from Captain Kirk and Spock.