By Sarah Carlson, Arts Editor

I Am The Enemy

Sing Song Gate, 2006: Kai O’s sobbing, Moonies swearing, and bystanders calling for the head of the director of Student Productions.

All of this commotion after a huge upset in the results from Saturday night’s show led to a recount of the votes, which showed the women’s social club winner changing from Alpha Kai Omega to Sigma Theta Chi, and the men’s social club winner remaining the same: Gamma Sigma Phi.

Hopes were dashed, rivalries increased, and various sets of parents attempted to sooth their child’s disappointment by reassuring them that their act was in fact the best and should have won.

Watching the hysteria unfold was, of course, a reporter’s dream. We live off chaos and controversy. Most of the Optimist staff rushed back to Moody Coliseum on Saturday night once we heard a recount had been called.

We joined hundreds of others standing around until past midnight, chatting with long-time-no-see friends and waiting for Kendall Massey, the aforementioned director of Student Productions, to announce the night’s true winners. Sing Song was our only concern.

But, while the mix-up was interesting and heartbreaking for some involved, the controversy only pointed to the truth that Sing Song has become too serious in its ripe old age of 50.

I’ve been in my class’s act for four years now, winning a different place each year. We unfortunately peaked early and only won first place our freshman year as Ice Cream Men. As Merry Men our sophomore year, we were robbed, plain and simple, and I remember crying next to my now-roommate when we placed third, and the then-seniors claimed victory.

Junior year, we were ridiculous, having students from all years join us on stage to jump around and burn pent-up energy, relishing our fourth-place sweep.

But this year, as Jedi, we actually tried. And although the freshmen won (barely), and we placed second, we had the funniest show and ended on the high note of knowing we were the crowd-pleaser.

This semester, I spent roughly 43 hours in either Sing Song practices or performances, and Lord knows how many collective hours I practiced spontaneous choreography during the other three years. But all the energy I spent for a class act really doesn’t compare to how hard the large club acts work to either defend or reclaim the first place title.

An extra week of vacation meant a week less of practice, and all groups were pushed to the point of exhaustion to prepare for the show. My Dad, who graduated in 1974, shakes his head at how bloated Sing Song has become and is confused at all the various judging requirements.

Back in his day, groups were simply judged on costumes and vocals. Now, a bent arm during choreography or flat note can determine a win or loss. Similar to sophomore year, the seniors were hosed by several judges who apparently expected a group of college kids to have the vocal precision of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Receiving brutal ratings for trying your hardest doesn’t exactly help build self-esteem and, let’s face it, sucks the fun out of the event. Healthy competition is great, but the lengths acts have to reach to win Sing Song have reached unhealthy proportions. The only way you can have fun in Sing Song is if your group wins, or if you enter the competition not caring about whether you win or lose.

Massey has done his best to make the production more lively and student-friendly, and the notion of firing him because of a voting mishap is ludicrous. The judging system should, however, be examined, and the dramatic emotions seen on Moody’s floor Saturday should not go unnoticed.

The poor Kai O’s were upset not just because they had mistakenly thought their club had won for the first time, but because they had put so much time and energy into a show, only to have the results not pay off.

I’m addicted to Sing Song and don’t for a second regret my time spent on its stage. I’m still coming to terms with losing, though, and maybe when my kids are in Sing Song, I’ll have forgiven my sophomore-year judges.

I only hope that by then, something in Sing Song will have changed and the production is focused on just being a good time, not a fight to the death.