By Ryan Self, Student Reporter

Need a toilet unclogged or a leaky faucet repaired? How about an analysis of the current economic downturn and its potential effect on American freedom? Just call Joe the Plumber; he can fix anything.

Joe Wurzelbacher, aka Joe the Plumber, the overnight sensation of the 2008 presidential campaign, is currently promoting his new book, Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream, all across the heartland. In his book, Wurzelbacher offers anecdotes and appraisals of the current state of politics in America.

On President Obama, Harvard Law graduate and former editor in chief of the Harvard Law Review, Wurzelbacher remarked, “So far every step he’s taken I pretty much disagree with.” On Sen. John McCain, who has spent more than 25 years in Congress and 5 years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, Wurzelbacher commented, concerning McCain’s responses to his questions while on the campaign trail, “They appalled me. I was angry. I wanted to get off the bus after I talked to him.”

But what of Wurzelbacher? How does this plumber turned political pundit describe himself? “I like to think I’m a little more educated than some out there in politics just because it is interesting to me,” he said. If only our politicians were more interested in politics, imagine what a difference they would make.

Wurzelbacher’s ambitions do not end with his recent book, which is sure to enlighten and inspire much more than Obama’s shallow and disappointing “The Audacity of Hope.” Joe the Plumber has decided he wants to become Joe the Congressman. Wurzelbacher states, “If I became a congressman, I would literally bang people’s heads together and probably get in a lot of trouble.”I hope that is not his campaign slogan.

How did we become so fortunate to have such a wise and astute man littering the airwaves with his opinions? Back in October of 2008, Wurzelbacher confronted Obama about his new tax plan, which would heavily tax those that made more than $250,000. Wurzelbacher, as soon-to-be private business owner who found himself in that category, questioned Obama about how that would affect him and if he believed in the American Dream. Then a star was born.

The following presidential debate, Joe the Plumber, who now represented the everyday working American, was mentioned a staggering 26 times. The McCain campaign quickly brought him along the campaign trail where he was quick to dispense foreign policy advice, claiming that a vote for Obama is a vote for “the death of Israel.”

Thank you, Joe; you fix toilets for a living. Since when does unclogging pipes translate into experience on foreign policy?

An important note: Joe the Plumber is actually not named Joe, nor is he a plumber. His full name is actually Samuel Wurzelbacher, and he does not own a plumbing license (because, as he claims, “he doesn’t need one”). He also makes well below $250,000 and will not be owning his own plumbing business anytime soon. To be fair, if his book and political career keep heading where they are, he could very well be making a handsome salary. Unfortunately for all of us, that would mean he would have to leave his extremely profitable and fictitious plumbing business. He should stick with what he knows, which obviously has nothing to do with politics.