A little over a week into the intramural season, some teams have already established themselves as frontrunners for a run at the coveted championship. Early indications point toward a severe lack of parity in Men’s Champ League, while the Women’s Champ League standings remain as close as a Siggie and the African child in her profile picture.
Men’s Champ League
Squirtle Squad and Galaxy put up the most impressive performances in week one, winning 28-0 and 27-0 respectively, although both teams defeated the lowly Boyz in Motion. The two powerhouses faced off on opposite sides of the ball Tuesday night, unfortunately too late to include the result in Wednesday’s Optimist.
Sub T-16 cruised through its first contest against the Thunder Ducks, winning 22-0, thanks to the brilliant play of Paul Figel, quarterback and Sub T-16 intramural director. However, Figel is quick to deflect the praise to his teammates.
“JP Festa was clutch last week with the Kool-Aid Jammers and orange slices,” Figel said. “Our guys felt re-energized for the second half which allowed us to pull away.”
Sub T-16 is also expecting a boost to its offense.
“Hayden Free is currently our best center but is quickly becoming our best quarterback,” Figel said. “He’s been practicing snapping the ball to himself so that is something to look for in the future.”
Figel emphasized the importance of having a large cheering section at intramural games, a benefit he credits to the Samson-like hair of Barrett Brown.
“Barrett Brown is now going 10 weeks strong using Head & Shoulders twice a day, every day, and the female population has taken notice,” he said. “We expect a larger crowd next week as this hype continues to grow.”
Despite Brown’s flowing locks and a sizable crowd at Monday night’s game against Tri Bi Delt, Sub T-16 was unable to come away with the win, losing 12-7 in what turned out to be a heated affair. Should these two teams meet in the playoffs, expect sparks to fly.
On the other end of the spectrum, Boyz in Motion is now 0-3 and yet to score a point after a Monday night blowout-loss to Gamma Sigma Phi. The Boyz appear to have jumped straight into the Champ League deep end without their water wings. Aqua Aerobics is to be done in the Rec, Boyz in Motion.
Looking ahead, two important games are on the slate for Thursday night.
Both Squirtle Squad and MACC Attack will be looking to remain near the top of the standings when they clash like a Craig Sager sports coat at 8 p.m. The Squad’s defense is tougher to solve than an algebraic equation, but John David Baker and his mathematical magicians are more than capable of providing an answer.
Immediately following, the members of first-place Tri Bi Delt will need to rely on their chicken-legged physiques to outpace the Thunder Ducks.
Women’s Champ League
Each team has now played three games, but last night’s results will not be featured until a week from today, leaving many to wonder what intriguing developments might have risen in the gauntlet that is the Women’s Champ League.
The two non-club associated teams, Eta Pi (2-0-0) and The Heat (1-0-1) sit atop the standings. Eta Pi thrashed Alpha Kai Omega 19-0 in its opener, then defeated Sigma Theta Chi 13-6.
Marissa Mueller, captain of Eta Pi, has gone on record to say her team is actually taking it easy on the competition.
“Coach Cruz is our best player, by far,” Mueller said. “She is so good that it would have been unfair to any of the other teams to let her on the field, so she sidelined herself and assumed the position of coach.”
Mueller even went so far as to provide a rival team with bulletin board material for upcoming games.
“We’re looking to beat The Heat.” Mueller said. “There is only enough room in our oven for one of us!”
Many of the social club athletes claim their busy pledging schedules are hampering their early season performances. But, much like non-fair trade chocolate or coffee, we are not buying that. Eta Pi and The Heat are busy pledging too – pledging to win football games, that is.
