As spring blooms its first petals, chirps its first song and shines its first warm rays on the golden brick paths, one agonizing hunt begins to settle upon campus. A dark, deep, foggy and, perhaps, terminal event lurks around the corners of April and May; Spring Formal.
Women and men search like hunters for the perfect date, perfect outfit, perfect picture and overall, perfect night. However, perfection is unrealistic. Usually, women find themselves paralyzed at the idea of a rejection, intrusion or solitude at their formals while they watch men sweep women up like pockets of dust on a Swiffer Sweeper; clean, easy and reliable.
The decisions of asking a friend who perhaps will comply if your drive, pay and introduce them to all your friends, asking a stranger who will stand awkwardly in every photo and forget your name in the middle of a dance or asking someone you are interested in and risk rejection, humiliation and self-pity is a constant struggle.
Formal is another prom that revolves around the quality of your photo, your dress and, above all else, your date.
However, there is always the option of attending solo. Driving alone singing ‘Tear Drops of My Guitar by Taylor Swift’ as you arrive to see all your friends with their hot dates and being nominated to be the unofficial formal photographer since, of course, you don’t have anyone waiting for you. After several speeches, cheesy videos and stuffing two thousand cookies in your mouth, you leave the event walking with a hunched back and an ache at the bottom of your feet alone to your car. Perhaps, it is another prom.
The options don’t necessary seem to be in a woman’s favor when it comes to finding a date. The term ‘date’ seems to have an agonizing sense of bitterness and anxiety. A continues game of ‘What If’s’ plays in our brains like a broken record player over and over again.
Yes, finding a date is perhaps the next biggest disappointment that our campus has seen since the disappearance of Blue Bell.
Formal, though almost as expensive as one academic course, should be a night to remember why you joined club. A night filled with mediocre food, expensive dresses, clichÃ© speeches and one person who may stick to your side like glue on a kindergartener’s hand.
Whether you take a friend, a special someone or a total stranger, the hunting for a perfect date will be only be the beginning steps to an unforgettable night. Do what you wish, but choose responsibly, correctly and, above all else, wisely.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, Taylor Swift is on