Dearest weather,
While we have enjoyed the last year full of snow days spent out of class, sunny days spent in the pool and those few weeks in between of actual, decent weather. It is time to make up your mind.
We simply can not take any more of your mother nature inconsistency.
You fluctuate daily, if not hourly, leaving us to question the choice between jacket and scarf, boots or sandals. This semester alone, you have been responsible for chilly legs, wet shoulders and even a little moisture under the arms.
Do you not owe us just a shred of decency? Just as the sun and tuition rises every morning, do we not deserve the same consistency from you?
We constantly look to men and women who claim to know you so well only to be left hurt and confused when you betray their very predictions. If a knowledgeable meteorologist can not even ascribe a basic percentage to your chance of precipitation, how can we be expected to understand your ways, much less, decide if we should pack an umbrella?
There are people across the world who would love water. So, in the interest both ours and their happiness, please stop delivering unwanted afternoon showers to our otherwise beautiful days.
And it is not just the rain, but also the heat, that leaves us to question your motives.
Just as it is easier to smile then frown, it must require more on your part to produce a 100° squelcher. Triple digits are for slot machines and All-Star basketball games. Grant us a day off and let’s both relax at a comfortable 75°.
With the summer quickly approaching (although the corresponding temperatures seem a bit ahead of schedule), we understand you have certain weather related duties that you must fulfill.
We know that temperatures must rise but your constant attempt to win awards with your “record highs” can have some negative effects on us. You can get recognition other ways, you know.
So this summer, instead of heat, let’s set record lows in sunburn, air conditioning bills and forest fires.
Truly, yours.