By Jared Fields, Editor in Chief

My subconscious purposefully dupes my consciousness from letting me think I’m making myself happy.

Sound confusing?

When I intentionally try to do things I think will make me happy, my subconscious sabotages it all.

Let’s say I have a lot of work to do without much time. I work until a decent hour and then go to sleep knowing that I’ll work better after some rest.

I set my alarm to wake up early, but then when it goes off at 5 a.m., I just set it for another hour or so later.

Or I decide just to take my time with the morning and finally start moving around just before class starts – if I go.

Then in the afternoon or evening when I’m still trying to finish whatever assignment is due, when I could have finished it earlier, I’m that much more frustrated with myself.

At first you may think I lack willpower, have no drive or am a lazy procrastinator. All answers are valid and acceptable.

However, I’ve come to realize my subconscious is a genius. Suppose I had finished that work early in the morning; what would I do the rest of the day without that work?

Nothing.

While I’ve been accused of suffering from learning disabilities before, I admit my mind may not function properly because for some reason, I like working on deadlines under time restraints.

That’s why I’m a procrastinator in the first place.

But if I had finished work early and then sat around bored the rest of the day, I would be rested – maybe- but not happy.

I’d have nothing to do. I’m content with “boredom” and having little to do, but only when that boredom is the exception and never expected.

So instead of getting the work done in a timely manner, my subconscious keeps me from it so I can enjoy the adrenaline rush of a deadline and be happy when I’ve finished work under pressure.

I wish I could overcome my subconscious, it might not make me happy, but I know it would make many others happy.

However, if that’s the way my mind works, I should quit fighting it and accept it instead.

My only worry now is if there are more tricks my mind plays that I’m not yet aware of.