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You are here: Home / Opinion / Editorials / Pass your finals sans preparation

Pass your finals sans preparation

December 2, 2011 by Optimist Editorial Board

We have one week of regular classes before finals. If you are surprised by that news, you are going to be in some pretty deep trouble in a few days. But, lucky for you, the Optimist Editorial Board is chock full of caring, thoughtful college kids who are here to help you.

Ask for a Study Guide

Professors love to hand out study guides. They really like spending time and energy writing curriculum and preparing lectures so students can only care to learn enough to pass the test. They love it so much they stayed in school well into their 20’s to gather the knowledge and degrees necessary to teach on the university level so they can prepare students for the test – we mean life.

Bonus tip: If you want to be a really good student don’t wait until the end of the semester, just ask your professor after every statement if that information will be on the final.

Use Humor

It’s not hard to fake your way through a multiple choice test, but essay questions are a different story. It takes a special person to successfully navigate through the answer without revealing that he don’t know the material or tripping the professor’s bull detector.

This is why the rest of us have to use humor. Professors spend hours grading finals once we’ve gone home for the break. It is a dark time for them. As students, we should capitalize on – we mean help them through – their suffering by offering funny answers in exchange for partial credit. Is a humorous, though incorrect, essay meant to bring a moment of joy not worth half credit?

Answer your own question

If your professor isn’t the type that will appreciate humor you’ll have to choose a different route. Answer the question you want to be asked. Ramble a little while about the topic they set then just slip into the answer you want to give. If you do it right she will be impressed by the answer you give and forget the question she asked. Watch any political debate and you will see this maneuver in action.

Answer “Jesus”

It worked in Sunday school. Since this is a Christian university it should work here.

These four tips should eliminate any need for studying and allow you to use dead day for more important things. Like sleeping.

Filed Under: Editorials Tagged With: Finals

Other Opinion:

  • Every Christian should be unabashedly pro-life

  • Prediction markets are dominating college athletics, but no one is talking about it

  • Abilene is more interesting than you think

About Optimist Editorial Board

You are here: Home / Opinion / Editorials / Pass your finals sans preparation

Other Opinion:

  • Every Christian should be unabashedly pro-life

  • Prediction markets are dominating college athletics, but no one is talking about it

  • Abilene is more interesting than you think

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