Though it’s still the first semester of my senior year, large chunks of my time are being spent discussing and Googling and worrying about my impending graduation. It’s annoying. I’m convinced I’m using the same words over and over again. So I’ve compiled a glossary – buzzwords almost every senior is using – so you can understand the annoying conversations those about to graduate are having.
Austin, TX: If graduating seniors don’t have an immediate game plan, this is their fallback. You’ll often hear groups of seniors say “Well, we can always just move to Austin.”
Graduate School: Sixteen years of school and four years of accumulating debt isn’t enough. Students tend to choose to attend this to prolong the inevitable – real life. Also, maybe in a couple more years, the job market will be better.
GRE: The SAT for big kids. You take this to get into a graduate school. I was not aware of this until about two months ago when everyone around me started studying for the GRE. What’s it stand for? I’m still not sure. Get Ready Everyone? Go Read Everything? Give Real Effort? Not sure.
Letters of recommendation: If a senior suddenly begins to act more respectfully to his or her professor, it’s because he’s realized the power the professor wields over his future. These letters are the holy grails of a grad school or job application.
LinkedIn: An awkward social media platform that everyone feels obligated to connect to each other on because who knows who might be a business tycoon some day. And then professors scare you with stats like 93 percent of job recruiters using LinkedIn to find qualified candidates. So you feel like you should be active on LinkedIn but still aren’t sure what to do on it.
Unemployment: Don’t use this word around anyone graduating. It’s not nice.
Unpaid internship: Legal slave labor. If graduate school isn’t happening, this will be many of our unavoidable futures if we ever want a career.