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You are here: Home / Pessimist / PESSIMIST: Limited Access will soon launch in bookstore
Limited Access books remain locked away. (Photo courtesy of Wildcat Limited Access)

PESSIMIST: Limited Access will soon launch in bookstore

March 31, 2025 by Optimist Staff Leave a Comment

After receiving many complaints about the Wildcat Access program and the process for distributing books at the beginning of each semester, the university has reached a new deal with eCampus. 

This new deal will hand out books at the end of the school year to test students’ true IQs. University president Phil Schubert said this new process will make the campus more competitive. 

“We’ve seen increases in grade point averages across campus due to students having the material at their fingertips,” he said. “This will show who should truly be on campus because they already know what they need to know.”

The long-term goal is to bring the university to the next Ivy League school by making the competition greater and lowering the acceptance rate while increasing the graduation rate.

“We know we’re better than Harvard and Yale, and it’s time everyone else recognizes it too,” Schubert said.

In addition to the delay of books, the campus store will also not be providing lab materials such as gloves and lab coats.

“If the students are smart enough to be in science classes, they should be able to avoid injury without special equipment,” said Rusty Towell, director at the NEXT Lab.

The limited supply of books will also force students to go back to thinking on their own, something younger generations have begun to do less.

“They’re just brainwashed zombies,” Schubert said. “From cell phones to textbooks they don’t think for themselves the way they used to.”

Fran Grindle, class of 1918, agreed with Schubert, saying that academics were more independent and rigorous when she was a student.

“Back in my day, I had to make the homework and then do it myself,” Grindle said. “I also had to walk 13 miles uphill to and from class every day. These youngins just aren’t built the same anymore.”

This deal with eCampus may receive some backlash from students at first, but it has already proven successful with a select group of students.

“It definitely makes the classes more difficult, but it makes it more fulfilling knowing that I truly understand the material on my own,” sophomore Austin Nelson said.

This deal is binding until the end of the day as Schubert is 100% confident it will work and be beneficial to the university, and there is no going back.

Filed Under: Pessimist

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Other Pessimist:

  • PESSIMIST: Lego joins SGA to piece together Wessel kit

  • PESSIMIST: Fake News: Trump blames the Bean for missing campus cats

  • PESSIMIST: Fuzzy’s curse strikes Athletics once again

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Sing Song 2025 Awards Women’s Division:

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