Many stupid people exist in this world. This isn’t a new revelation, of course, but sometimes it takes a few real-life newspaper articles to bring that idea home.
Take, for example, an article found in the Dec. 10, 2002 copy of the Merced (Calif.) Sun-Star, which reported that an unarmed man was taken to a hospital in Modesto, Calif., after his head was split open by a brick.
Police called to the scene were expecting to find foul play, but witnesses said the man was merely trying to see how high he could toss a brick in the air.
Since it was rather dark at 2:30 a.m. when the incident occurred, the man lost track of the brick’s flight and could not get out of the way when it came down on his head. Police said alcohol-and let’s add stupidity- appeared to be involved.
Not stupid enough yet? Pick up a Dec. 19, 2002 edition of The Detroit Free Press, in which 29-year-old Taiwan native Shuo Shan Wang pleaded guilty in Oak Park, Mich., to practicing surgery without a license. Over 50 of them, actually, or so he admitted to police.
His practice would have most likely continued had it not been for a kitchen-table castration of a 48-year-old man who had found Wang’s “service” on the Internet.
Supposedly, the patient began to bleed uncontrollably after bursting out laughing while eating a post-operative piece of pie at Wang’s house. Nothing like treating yourself.
This last example of our nation’s brightest comes from an Oct. 31, 2002 Associated Press article on Boston.com, which tells us that Springfield, Mass. Firefighter John S. Marrero, 25, was fired earlier that month.
Surprisingly enough, superiors said the canning had nothing to do with the charges of crack cocaine and Oxycontin possession filed against him (he is still innocent until proven guilty of those charges).
Instead, Marrero was fired because he was caught smoking a cigarette when the state trooper arrested him.
Apparently, cigarette smoking-on or off the job- is a violation of Massachusetts state law for any firefighter or police officer hired since 1988. Wow. The only thing more comforting than a smoking firefighter is an intoxicated airplane pilot.
So there you have it-some bright individuals who topped the headlines of 2002. But don’t worry, they’re sure to be back with a vengeance in ’03.