By Joshua Parrott, Sports Writer
I recently made a huge mistake using my computer, one that blows any of my previous mistakes off The Hill.
Finding too much boredom at my job and little enlightenment outside of class, I spent an hour or so in the wee-hours of the morning combining two of the most powerful elements of the past 30 years: The Internet and mullets.
The results made a death row sentence an enjoyable experience.
Needless to say, things got a little ugly quicker than you can say, “That there boy need him a haircut.”
This left me with little choice: I must provide my peers with some of the mullet Web sites to avoid at all costs.
Unless you want to see some of the best of the worst mullets in history, avoid surfing this site. A poll on the site says anti-mullet sentiments have risen 437 percent in the past five years. Yeah, like we didn’t know that already.
Looking to show support for your fellow mullets? Buy a T-shirt, sticker or hat. Buying these items is like giving a murderer a machine gun: Don’t encourage the sick people of our country.
Feeling this good about a mullet Web site should be outlawed. If you like mullets and poetry (and who doesn’t?), welcome to Graceland. “Mr. Mullet,” “Mullet Love” and “Mullet Desires” are just a few examples of the best mullet-related writing available. According to this page, “mullets make peace.” Maybe we should have sent mullets to reform Iraq instead of all the buzz-cut soldiers.
The moral of the story? Cut your hair.
Because if you’re not careful, you could find yourself with a mullet only Joe Dirt would love and on a Web site we should all avoid.