By Jonathan Smith, Editor in Chief

This just in: Fundraising, in all its forms and uses, forevermore will be only one word.

No more hyphens. No more splitting it into two words. Just fundraising.

This is according to the 2005 edition of the Associated Press Stylebook released just one week ago.

Journalists everywhere wait for each year’s edition of the AP Stylebook to learn what the most widely accepted style for just about anything written will be for that year.

Want to know whether to abbreviate Maine? Consult the AP Stylebook.

Not sure what to do with OK? Check page 184.

Don’t know if you should use 7 or spell it out? Look under numerals.

If you want an answer about writing or style, this book will have it.

But the AP has really limited its audience for the Stylebook, much like I have for this column. I probably lost half my readership by opening the column with grammar rules, and another half at the mere mention of the Associated Press.

If the AP wouldn’t limit itself to producing only a Stylebook and would produce a more diversified product, readers from all walks of life might become interested in what the AP has to say.

It could begin right here at ACU. All you need to do is pick the biggest, most controversial issues on campus year in and year out.

Consider the AP ARAMARK book. In its pages, students would be able to find a coherent answer to why they can’t doubleswipe their ID cards for meal plans. Under the word “myth,” students could finally find answers to their questions about whether Bean food actually improves during Preview Weekend.

Then, the AP Parkingbook could hit the shelves. Page 162 would tell students where parking spots would be available at 10:55 a.m. Tuesdays. You also could see statistics about how many freshmen from Mabee Hall drive to their 8 a.m. business class.

And if those books weren’t on the bookshelf of every student, the last installment would be an instant bestseller: the AP Chapelbook.

Only under the section “fat chance” could students find the percentage of students who would attend Chapel daily if it weren’t required. Which students wouldn’t own a book that could tell them how many people were offended by or agreed with Damon Parker’s Chapel speech earlier this semester.

And by promising other bestsellers such as Bookstorebook and hyping the upcoming epic, SAbook, the AP could guarantee itself an ACU market for years to come.

All these books would hit almost every issue students actually care about on campus with any regularity. Now the students just need someone to champion their cause.

I thought about producing the books myself, but I’m completely consumed now with other more important endeavors.

Like determining when I should capitalize centennial.