By Kelline Linton, Chief Copy Editor
Beep-Beep. Screech- Screech! The dreaded alarm clock shouts a rude awakening, like little jackhammers drilling into the sleeping brain. Every morning without fail, the monster attacks, snarling and growling until startled fingers discover the snooze button or trip across the off switch.
Sometimes I change my alarm settings to radio mode, tuning it to the most atrocious sounds I can find – plain static or drawling country music.
Either one pries my glued eyelids open.
Other times, I wake early and watch the digital clock flip its numbers, the minutes slowly disappearing. I stare at the red alarm sign with repulsion, wanting to turn it off before the beast awakens but fearing my groggy mind will betray me back into a state of sleep.
How I shudder at the choices.
That shiny black clock, so sleek and modern – it haunts my dreams. The alarm. It is the bane of my life. Without such a fiend, I would sleep until noon, curled in my blankets like a warm, hibernating bear.
Imagine the possibilities. No matter how late professors force me to stay awake, writing papers, reading English stories and typing lab assignments, I could sleep my fill in the morning.
No more sleep-deprived migraines. No more yawning epidemics. No more Chapel naps. I would awake with a sense of renewal, feeling refreshed and ready to tackle anything and everything. Instead, Taqi al-Din decided to invent the first mechanical alarm clock in 1559 for the Ottoman Empire. And then, Levi Hutchins followed him in 1787, creating an alarm clock in the United States. Unlike al-Din, I admire Hutchins. He had the decency to only make the device for himself, using it to awake at 4 a.m. every day for his job, but French inventor Antoine Redier could not leave well enough alone. He was the first to patent an adjustable mechanical alarm clock, in 1847.
So the nightmare invaded American houses on a large scale, forcing school children to shudder in terror, until the spring of 1942 when alarm clocks ceased production as the factories that made them were converted for war work during World War II. I am sure many rejoiced for the end of the abomination.
Until November 1944, when the factories resumed clock manufacture for civilian use. By that time, a critical shortage of alarm clocks had developed due to older clocks wearing out or breaking down. Workers constantly were late or even completely missed their scheduled shifts in jobs critical to the war effort. To counteract this trend, in a pooling arrangement overseen by the Office of Price Administration, clock companies began to resume production before the war even ended.
So the cycle continues. The alarm clock blares, the student awakens and classes begin. We college students cannot escape the early morning ritual, especially at ACU where numerous absences mean a drop in the class.
My best advice for us latenight diligent people trying to balance school and social responsibilities? Embrace the monster, relish the rude awakenings and survive the attacks because retirement is only in 45 more years, when a person can safely throw the alarm clock into the nearest trash bin and run for the hills without fear of reprisal.
