By Sommerly Simser, Multimedia Managing Editor
In today’s most popular romantic movies we watch as problems unfold with our favorite couples and what they do to try and overcome them. One of the most evident struggles between a man and a woman in these movies is the difference in how they communicate.
The relationship that Noah and Allie share in The Notebook is a perfect example of this. During the first part of their relationship, they fight constantly because they haven’t learned to communicate effectively. Obviously theirs isn’t representative of every relationship. You may have one that resembles that of Harry and Sally in When Harry Met Sally. They were able to talk about everything, but even their ideal relationship had flaws. Harry was at times insensitive to Sally’s needs, and in turn Sally could be overly emotional about things.
A few days ago I was reminded how hard it can be to communicate with the opposite sex.
I found out that my boyfriend would not be coming home to Abilene as soon as anticipated. I acted as though this unexpected news felt like an atomic bomb had been dropped on my heart. My crying was followed by the thought of everything he would soon miss out on: Valentine’s Day, Sing Song and spring formal. I was completely crushed.
On the other end of the conversation, though, there was no reaction or emotion from him about the turn of events, which hurt me even more.
After the initial shock of the news wore off, he realized he hadn’t been sensitive to my feelings, and I realized I had overreacted and had only thought about how this delay affected my plans. Of course he wanted to come home when it was originally planned, but he realized that getting all worked up about it was a waste of energy.
Not every miscommunication is going to end in such a speedy resolution.
Let’s face it, it’s impossible for a woman to understand how a man thinks, and it’s just as difficult for a man to understand how a woman thinks.
If only men were more willing to wear their hearts on their sleeves and women less likely to overreact, harmony would reign between the two.
Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world.
All we can do to combat miscommunication is to be honest with one another. If a man asks a woman if she is OK, lying and saying, “I’m fine,” is just going to add insult to injury.
Men need to be aware that even though they may feel something, they don’t always show it. That can frustrate or hurt women.
Both sides should be aware of their differences and put forth the extra effort to understand and meet the other’s needs.
In both The Notebook and When Harry Met Sally, each couple finally came to a point in their relationships where they weren’t focusing as much on the problem at hand. Instead they began to focus on communicating what they needed from the other and trying to meet the other’s needs.
It seems almost simple and easy, but when it involves dealing with a whole different mindset than your own, it can be complex. Still, if you look at Allie and Noah and Harry and Sally, the reward of communicating better is worth the extra effort.
