Sex is complicated. God gave us sex. It is a natural part of life, and it is essential to our existence. But every one of us has faced our own sexual demons.
We live in a world consumed by carefree and casual sex, but we claim a faith and attend a university that holds us to a different standard. Unfortunately, most students on campus hear the church praise sex within marriage while condemning premarital sex – and nothing else.
It is dangerous for churches to address only marital, healthy sexuality, because we’re not all married or sexually healthy. We start thinking God will turn his back on us if we’ve engaged in premarital sex. The church’s silence can even lead us to believe God is not concerned with our sexuality at all. We rarely hear that God’s grace extends to even our deepest sexual sins.
A black-and-white approach to sexuality will not work anymore – we need to explore the gray area. Someone needs to show us the spiritual path back to healthy sexuality if – or when – we mess up.
The university should step in and provide students with a safe place to talk about sex on a regular basis, because the reality is we are broken. We have made mistakes and don’t know where to go from here.
Make no mistake, ACU has offered opportunities for men and women to come together in an open, honest environment and talk about sex in several venues – evening forums where faculty members answer students’ questions about sexuality, or Pam Money’s relationship conversations with ACU women – but we need this to happen more frequently.
We need a place where students can ask the questions their preacher will never address, the questions that are too embarrassing or shameful to bring home.
“I’m afraid my boyfriend won’t want to be with me anymore when he finds out I’ve had sex.”
“I’ve had sex. I know it goes against my faith as a Christian, and I don’t want to do it anymore, but I can’t stop.”
They might be tough to hear, but those are real issues facing real Christian students.
We need a place where students can learn how important healthy sexuality is and begin to strive for it. We need to be in constant conversation about sex.
Maybe then, we will realize God’s grace does not end at our sex life. Maybe, we will realize engaging in premarital sex is not an automatic ticket to hell. Maybe, we will stop asking God, “How far can I go?” and begin to understand how we act sexually reflects who we are in relation to God. Maybe, we will finally learn how he meant sex to be and how we can incorporate that into healthy and holy sex lives.