You’re the guy who found the girl of your dreams in college. In fact, you found her and began dating her before your first college class started. You found your Welcome Week Wife.

Welcome Week is the time to adjust to college life, have fun, and yes, meet people. You’ll meet many more people throughout your collegiate career than you have in Welcome Week. Don’t rush anything. You’re young.

You will meet a significantly smaller number of people in your college career if your nights and weekends are filled with dates and couples lunches.

Get out there and meet as many people as you can. Then you’ll have a quality base from which to choose your mate.

In your short time on ACU campus, you may have already heard someone jokingly refer to “Ring by Spring.” That’s spring of your senior year. Remember that.

As you continue to pursue this relationship that began days after meeting, you must understand that no one else really wants to see your PDA.

The only thing more disgusting than your puppy love is your utterly obvious obliviousness as a freshman.

So keep in mind that chapel is not the time or place for you to make out. We’ve seen this happen several times, and we don’t want to see it while singing, “You know the Lord liveth, and blessed be the Rock -”

It was not Jacob’s dream for you and your significant other to make out there, either. That’s where people go to pray and stuff. Wait until Thursday night from 6-11 p.m. But leave your door wide open and keep both of your feet on the ground. Or else.

We have not come to just condemn, however. We are prepared with solutions.

We propose creating “Makeout Zones” where you will not be penalized for smooching:

The middle of the GATA Fountain.

While running on treadmills in the Rec Center.

Anywhere in the grass after it rains, but both of you have to be sitting down.

The middle of the Lunsford. Don’t worry, no one will run over you. We promise.

In front of the Chick-Fil-A line at 11:32 a.m. on weekdays. Don’t worry, no one will run over you. We promise.

Or in the middle of the street. No one will run over you. We promise.

If you are already in a relationship that began during Welcome Week, you are not being judged. We challenge you to prove us wrong as to the relationship’s longevity. Just know that she might not be the same person you met during Welcome Week now that classes have started.