When I was young, I was a bona fide tomboy. I made fun of girls who liked pink. I climbed trees like a maniac. My legs were perpetually covered in bruises and cuts from my adventures.
But most of all, I loved Star Wars.
As an 8-year-old, I clearly remember sitting on the front row of the movie theater, neck craned back, mouth open wide, in awe of the enthralling world of Star Wars. It captured my imagination and held on tight.
My fate was determined- I would be a nerd.
I went through the honeymoon stage of young Star Wars love.
In the beginning, I was more impressed with episodes I, II and III. Jar Jar Binks was a valuable, funny character. Anakin Skywalker was a competent actor. The more special effects, the better.
Soon I matured and realized the error of my ways. Jar Jar Binks was the worst thing to happen to Star Wars. Anakin Skywalker, both the kid and the grown-up, could use some acting lessons. I realized the true merit of episodes IV, V and VI.
I looked back at my young, naive self with disdain.
I went through a mid-fan crisis, in which I realized the acting, screenplay and special effects of the series haven’t always been exactly what you would call exemplary. They’re sometimes even painful. This realization made me doubt the greatness of the saga.
But I realized something important.
Star Wars is not renowned for its awe-inspiring acting or realistic alien characters.
Star Wars enthralled the world because it captured our imagination by creating another universe.
But then that universe was sold for $4.05 billion. To Disney. Who is making three more episodes.
This conjured up some very complex emotions in me.
It felt as if my mom told me she was having another child, like I was now going to have a sibling after being an only child for 20 years.
I know I should be happy about it, but it just feels completely wrong.
I seethed with skepticism. How could this possibly be a good thing?
While that skepticism is still my predominant emotion, I’m cautiously receiving a new hope.
Maybe it’s possible this could be a good thing.
Regardless, you can be sure I’ll be standing in line for that midnight premier.