The Optimist
  • Home
  • About
    • Advertise
    • Policies
    • Staff Contacts
    • Jobs
  • News
  • Sports
  • Opinion
    • Columns
    • Editorials
  • Multimedia
    • Photo Galleries
    • Videos
  • Features
  • Print Edition
    • The Pessimist
    • Special Projects
  • Police Log
  • Classifieds
You are here: Home / Opinion / Editorials / The faux-pocalypse: a preparation guide

The faux-pocalypse: a preparation guide

December 7, 2012 by Optimist Editorial Board

As the Mayan calendar comes to an end and a sense of panic fills the air, many people are looking for tips for how to survive the end of the world.

We would like to provide you, not with advice for the Armageddon, but with ways to survive the people who actually believe the end of the world is near.

One in 10 people in the world believe the world is ending on Dec. 21. About 700 million people are going to act like Dec. 20 will be their last day of normal life.

So we’ve come up with a few ways to navigate these people in a safe and possibly even fun manner. Make the most of these believers’ last day on earth.

1. Plan ahead.

You might want to check out those Armageddon movies ahead of time to prevent being disappointed by their disappearance off the shelves in Hastings. Look for Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, The Day After Tomorrow, The Road, Wall-E and, of course, 2012. These movies will help you set the right kind of mood.

2. Be smart

People preparing for the apocalypse usually go to one place: Wal-mart. They’ve got to stock up on those essentials. So avoid Wal-mart and other similar places on Dec. 20. Or if your cable is out, bring a lawn chair and enjoy watching the madness unfold.

Even if you’ve never played the stock market, now is the prime time to start. Investing in weapon or ammunition companies will pay off once the world doesn’t end. With all of the believers buying survival equipment, these companies will profit, and so can you.

3. Take advantage of opportunities

Don’t be afraid to use the end of the world as an excuse. Taking off work, not paying bills and doing exciting things all make sense if you believe the world is ending. Your boss will excuse your paranoia. And why not use this as an opportunity to go on that dangerous adventure your loved ones have denied. Go sky diving. Bungee-jump off a cliff. Take a swim with some sharks. The world is your playground. But please, keep it reasonable. Remember the world is not actually ending.

4. Love is all you need

The end of the world has given us a gift: the best pick-up line ever. Does that pretty girl in your geology class slightly believe the end is coming? Then this is the prime time to ask her on a date. People are more willing to give love a chance when they believe their time is running out. They rearrange their priorities and realize love is all they need.  So be brave and go ahead and say, “I know the Mayans were wrong because I can definitely see our future together.”

With these tips, hopefully you can stay safe and even benefit from the craze that will undoubtedly shake the world on the Mayan’s doomsday.

So from us at the Optimist, we are signing out- maybe for the last time. Good luck.

Filed Under: Editorials

Other Opinion:

  • Letter from the editor: Learning to lead

  • Online classes are not as effective as they seem

  • Athletes today face pressure from every angle

About Optimist Editorial Board

You are here: Home / Opinion / Editorials / The faux-pocalypse: a preparation guide

Other Opinion:

  • Letter from the editor: Learning to lead

  • Online classes are not as effective as they seem

  • Athletes today face pressure from every angle

Follow us online

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Optimist on Twitter

acuoptimist The Optimist @acuoptimist ·
9 May

BREAKING: The 2026 teacher of the year is Dr. Clint Buck, assistant professor of accounting in the College of Business Administration.

Reply on Twitter 2053158226070257771 Retweet on Twitter 2053158226070257771 Like on Twitter 2053158226070257771 2 Twitter 2053158226070257771
acuoptimist The Optimist @acuoptimist ·
4 May

BREAKING NEWS: James Bradshaw and Maddie Grace Fridge are the 2026 Mr. ACU and Miss ACU.

Reply on Twitter 2051110655172784350 Retweet on Twitter 2051110655172784350 Like on Twitter 2051110655172784350 4 Twitter 2051110655172784350

Optimist on Facebook

This message is only visible to admins.
Problem displaying Facebook posts.
Click to show error
Error: Server configuration issue Error: No posts available for this Facebook ID

Videos

Optimist Newscast Feb. 28, 2024

Our top stories today include a recap of The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, the ... [Read More…]

  • Optimist Newscast Feb. 21, 2024
  • Optimist Newscast Feb. 14, 2024
  • Optimist Newscast Jan. 24, 2024

Latest Photos

  • Home
  • About
    • Contact
    • Subscribe
    • Policies
    • Advertising Policy
    • Letters to the Editor and Reader Comments
  • News
  • Sports
  • Opinion
    • Columns
    • Editorials
  • Multimedia
    • Videos
    • Photo Galleries
  • Features
  • Advertise
    • Paid Advertisement
  • Police Log

© 2026 ACU Optimist · All Rights Reserved