Back in August, I wrote a column called “Real life is not like TV.” I love TV as much as the next person and keep up with several series religiously. And, since I know that my real life will never resemble a TV show, I can let my imagination run free.
In a perfect world, this is what I think my life would be like if it became a TV show:
The writers would have to create a genre for this ground-breaking show. Imagine a cross between comedy and drama, with maybe just a touch of sci-fi/fantasy. That’s not too far off from my real life.
My character would be a Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter for the Daily Planet … oh, wait, that’s been done.
My character would be sassy, sarcastic and witty, with the ability to hold her own in any situation. She would be intelligent and have the ability to speak multiple languages, which would come in handy while she travels around the world. In hairy situations, she would be pretty handy with a gun. Being a journalist, she would be an expert at retrieving information. Most importantly, she would never play the damsel in distress.
My job would keep me traveling. One day I could be sitting in my office, the next I’d be on the other side of the world discovering that the story I was sent to cover is much larger than anyone anticipated.
Remember, I said “in a perfect world.”
The cast of characters would consist of my friends, a few co-workers from my job at (insert major periodical name here) and some of my overseas contacts.
Every great TV gang needs a place to hang out. Ours would be a frozen yogurt shop. Why? I love frozen yogurt and, let’s be honest, every other TV posse hangs out at its signature bar or coffee shop.
Because timing is everything, my friends and I would always know where to find each other. Running into each other on the job would be completely normal. Despite our insignificant salaries, we would always have money to spend on frozen yogurt. We would have a tradition of watching the World Series together every year and one of our favorite pastimes would be playing Monopoly by our own rules, just to keep things interesting.
Every protagonist needs an antagonist.
My nemesis could be my boss, who shoots down every story idea I pitch and forces me to report on pet funerals until I go off the grid and uncover a plot to resurrect dinosaurs at a theme park off the coast of Costa Rica … but wait, that’s been done, too. Or my arch enemy could be the new reporter in the newsroom who is after my job and tries to manipulate the people around me, invoking a war of practical jokes.
I think it’s safe to say I won’t be sought out to star in my own TV series.
All I can do is let my imagination run wild and make real life as exciting as possible by pretending I’m uncovering a story that will save the world every time I’m in the newsroom.
