Attached below is a story included in the Optimist’s annual Pessimist print edition. The Pessimist is published annually April 1 and includes entirely fake stories for satirical purposes.

The Department of Psychology is adding a new major based on the Enneagram personality test.

The Enneagram is a faith-based personality profile that has recently gained popularity among young adults. Students often enjoy trying to type their friends and family.

Dr. Richard Beck, chair and professor of the department of psychology, helped develop the new degree plan.

“We wanted to create a degree program that is trendy,” Beck said. “Psychology can be confusing, so studying the Enneagram is a valid alternative. It is easy to learn by listening to podcasts and following Enneagram accounts on Instagram.”

Similar to psychology majors, Enneagram majors will take introductory psychology courses such as PSYC 120 – Introduction to Psychology, as well as PSYC 232 – Developmental Psychology. Afterward, students can take major-specific classes.

Additions to the course catalog include ENAG 380 – Introduction to Typology, ENAG 382 – Enneagram Meme Design and ENAG 451 – Enneagram for Influencers.

“We want students to come out of this program with the skills and knowledge to accurately type anyone they come into contact with,” Beck said. “Successful graduates can create Enneagram memes or talk about the different personality types on YouTube.”

Grant Parker, senior psychology major from Abilene, decided to stay an extra year to complete a double major in psychology and Enneagram.

“I went straight to my adviser as soon as I heard about the Enneagram classes,” Parker said. “I have always been interested in personalities and making aesthetically pleasing Instagram posts, so this major is a perfect combination for me.”

Classes will open for registration on April 31.