The Human Resources department is switching all staff payments to NFTs according to a memo sent to faculty earlier this week. The department wants to help faculty diversify their crypto portfolio.
The images on the NFTs being sent out are rotating, so it’s a surprise which NFT the faulty members will get every week.
“It’s like a fun game for the faculty,” Janice from accounting said.
The list of ACU ‘celebrities’ making an appearance on the NFT’s include:
- Dr. Phil Schubert
- Dr. Steven Moore
- Julie Goodenough
- Brette Tanner
- Fritter
- Tammy from the Bean
- Joe Pleasant from 2 years ago
Other NFT’s include important moments from the most recent academic year. The 2022-23 academic year NFT’s include:
- Airion Simmons’ airball during the WAC conference Game
- An actual winning season for the football team
- The opening of Moody Coliseum
- A weekly construction update on the NEXT Lab
In addition to ACU, popular celebrities such as Snoop Dogg, Ellen DeGeneres and former president Donald Trump are all supporters of the NFT movement.
However, not everyone is thrilled with the change. “I have no idea what an NFT even is,” complained Dr. James Inflation. “How am I supposed to use this to pay my mortgage?”
Despite the challenges, HR is standing by their decision.
“We are confident that this new system will attract the best and brightest faculty to our university,” said Janice from accounting. “And if they can’t figure out how to use NFTs, well, maybe they’re just not cut out for academia.”
The rest of the faculty is left scratching their heads and wondering what other innovations HR has in store for them.
“I just hope they don’t start paying us in Dogecoin next,” said Professor Penny Pincher. “I don’t think my landlord accepts that as payment either.”
Just when faculty thought it couldn’t get any worse, HR Director Karen Beeswax also announced that the university will also be accepting student payments in cryptocurrencies and NFTs.
“We believe that this move will attract a new demographic of students who are interested in the cutting-edge technology of blockchain and digital assets,” Beeswax said.
The news left some professors feeling even more out of touch, while others are worried about the logistics of accepting crypto payments for tuition and fees. Professor Penny Pincher was overheard muttering, “What’s next, we’re going to start grading papers in Bitcoin?”
