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You are here: Home / Pessimist / PESSIMIST: Greek Life ‘stirs the pot’ with rule changes
PJ Martinez and Robin McPherson actively stiring the Greek Life pot. (Photo courtesy of the Office of Greek Life)

PESSIMIST: Greek Life ‘stirs the pot’ with rule changes

March 31, 2025 by Optimist Staff Leave a Comment

Since the conclusion of the 2025 pledging process, Robin McPherson and the Greek Life Office have announced the upcoming changes to clubs and their pledging regulations.

“We think they’ve gotten too comfortable and accustomed to the current rules,” McPherson said. “If we continue to change the rules, it will stay entertaining and force clubs to respect our power.”

The office has released the following changes that will be rolled out through the next three pledge classes.

In the spring of 2026, all pledging activities will be referred to as hazing. All former uses of the words “pledging” or “new student orientation” will not be permitted.

Additionally in 2026, all hazees must be able to sing The Lord Bless You and Keep You in all four keys; bass, tenor, alto and soprano and will be judged in front of an audience. Any hazees unable to do so must continue hazing until they are capable of performing said act.

“We think these two changes will make the hazing process more realistic for people outside of clubs,” McPherson said. “Everyone already knows that hazing goes on, despite the anti-hazing materials promoted through clubs. Plus, forcing all of the hazees to learn The Lord Bless You and Keep You in all four parts will create a better worshiping experience in Moody.”

In 2027, hazees will be forced into the newest clubs on campus; Pi Kappa and Zeta Phi Alpha. There will still be rushing events for other clubs, hazees will just be provided limited opportunities to join them.

“We need to increase the number of members in newer clubs,” PJ Martinez said.

Pi Kappa is looking forward to this change as they have seen that their founding class is unable to attract new members.

“Our first rush event is playing frisbee in the rain,” Matthew De La Cruz said. “If it doesn’t rain we’ll just turn the sprinklers on and have them walk into the shower first.”

Additionally, all hazees will be referred to as “Jake from State farm” rather than their actual name.

“We want the hazees to feel unified,” said Hawke Ratliffe. “If they all have the same name, they’ll feel the same and be unified.” 

Finally, in 2028, the term “new member orientation” will replace hazing. All uses of hazing will result in more intense new member orientation processes for new members.

“The newest term will keep things fresh and innovative for clubs and introductees,” McPherson said.

Along with the name change, new members will not be given their first-choice club when they submit their rankings. Rather than getting to pick, they will be randomly shuffled throughout the other options.

“We know they’ll hate us for this,” McPherson said. “But it will bring them closer together and work out in the long run.”

While the office has not released the 2029 changes officially, it is rumored that club members will haze non-club students to promote equality and level the academic playing field. The plans will be released soon.

Filed Under: Pessimist

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Other Pessimist:

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