The World Famous Bean has been ranked one of the top 50 best college cafeterias in the nation. Awarded alongside other prominent universities, including Duke and Stanford, this is a milestone of achievement for the dear Christian college. This pristine award celebrates the accomplishment of the ACU kitchen and their work in serving the ACU ... [Read More…]
PESSIMIST: ‘Barbenheimer’ directors Christoper Nolan and Greta Gerwig to lead ACU FilmFest
The AT&T Learning Studio announced Friday that FilmFest heads Lyle Rickson and Satie Cantoja will step down from their positions, citing “creative differences.” Though many student filmmakers were disappointed to see the two go, their sorrow quickly turned into joy when it was announced that the new leaders will be none other than ... [Read More…]
PESSIMIST: Engineering student invents cloak of invisibility, allowing him to skip ODE exam
Written by Professor Severus Snape - https://youtu.be/CoOQT9cNSNU One engineering student has embarked on a groundbreaking experiment that has left the campus buzzing with intrigue and disbelief. Meet Larry Porter, junior civil engineering major from Denton, a brilliant yet mischievous student with a penchant for pushing the boundaries of what's ... [Read More…]
PESSIMIST: ResLife constructs new dorm on campus designed for campus cats
In a groundbreaking move aimed at fostering a more inclusive campus environment, ResLife has announced the construction of a new dormitory specifically designed for the beloved campus cats. This innovative project, the first of its kind in higher education, aims to provide a safe and comfortable living space for the feline companions who have ... [Read More…]
PESSIMIST: Feral Cats Raid Starbucks
Feral cats raided the Margarett and Herman Brown Library Starbucks the Thursday night before Easter. According to student workers, the staff had followed protocol in closing the cafe. In preparation for the upcoming holiday weekend, they took extra measures in cleaning the facility and restocking supplies for re-opening on Monday. It looked like ... [Read More…]
PESSIMIST: The Bean’s new “Girl Dinner” diet option sparks controversy on campus
The Bean has always prided itself on offering a variety of nutritious and satisfying meal options for students. However, a recent addition to the menu has sparked controversy and raised eyebrows across campus: the introduction of the "Girl Dinner" diet option. The "Girl Dinner" diet option, unveiled with much fanfare, promises a light and ... [Read More…]
PESSIMIST: After seeing Barbie, Phil Schubert embraces his Kenergy
In a surprising turn of events, University President Dr. Phil Schubert has undergone a remarkable transformation inspired by an unexpected muse: Ken from Barbie. What started as a casual movie night with his daughter quickly turned into a journey of self-discovery for the university president. It all began when President Schubert found himself ... [Read More…]
PESSIMIST: Quarterback Maverick McIvor receives two Oscars after Academy Awards mixup
In the biggest Academy Awards drama since “The Slap,” ACU starting quarterback Maverick McIvor received two Oscars instead of the film, Top Gun: Maverick. With the surprising win, Maverick joins the company of elite Hollywood talent in earning the most prestigious and sought-after award in the film industry. “I did not expect to hear Jimmy Kimmel ... [Read More…]
PESSIMIST: Study shows Optimist Sing Song predictions are 98% accurate
A recent study shows that The Optimist correctly predicts Sing Song place outcomes at around 98% on a yearly basis. The Optimist, the most trusted source on pre-competition Sing Song rankings, has a complicated, multi-step ranking process that has taken years to perfect. According to Hal Hoots, Optimist Contributor, the process is top-secret and ... [Read More…]
PESSIMIST: ACU ‘Open’ Forum banned from Facebook; Regroups on Truth Social
Facebook recently banned the Facebook group “ACU Open Forum” for violating Community Standards. Admins of the group have reorganized and created a new profile on Former President Donald Trump’s social media platform Truth Social under the name “Make ACU Christian Again.” The group was kicked off Facebook for spreading misinformation. Although ... [Read More…]