There’s no denying that the Oct. 1 rollout of the federal healthcare exchange under the Affordable Care Act has been a debacle. As Americans struggle to register for Obamacare, they find themselves wondering, how could it be so hard for the government to build a website? Why didn’t they just hire some of the big guns at Google to build it for them?
Some might argue if Google just ran the government altogether, it would probably be managed more smoothly, productively and even more colorfully. So, let’s look at some of the ways our country would work if the search engine conglomerate took over.
First, no more stiff, wooden chairs in the House of Representatives or Senate chambers. Instead, congressmen would be bouncing on large Hop N’ Bops and exercise balls of all colors. Not only would it improve their posture, but it would make C-SPAN exponentially more interesting to watch.
Google never ceases to find a reason to redesign their homepage logo and neither should the government. Everyday would be a national holiday. Every government-owned operation would want to decorate according the significant occasion of the day. Can’t you just imagine mailmen dressed up as Vincent Van Gogh every March 29?
Standing at the ballot boxes on Election Day would be a thing of the past. No need to visit your local elementary school or the church around the corner on Super Tuesday; just fill out the Google survey the government will have shared with you from the comfort of your own home.
Though Google wears many hats, their specialty will always be the search engine. Think how convenient it would be for anyone to find the information they are looking for within the 4.2 billion pages of government documents that exist. Penal code? Court opinions? EPA regulations? No problem. It’s all there behind one search box.
However, one potential problem some might foresee would be a reenactment of this summer’s NSA scandal. If citizens are worried about how much information the U.S. government knows about us, they might wet their pants if they saw how much Google knows about us. Don’t believe me? Just Google your name.