It’s crunch time. That /55 on your myACU homepage glows at you with dismay. Collecting those Chapel credits is the last thing you want to worry about right now, but the threat of Chapel probation means you have to.

It seems like there could be some alternative. Is there not something else you could do in lieu of those thirty minutes? It begs the question, what would you do for a Chapel credit?

Would you adopt a feral cat? Participate in a Kitten-Chapel credit exchange program? No, probably not. Not worth the risk of catching ringworm like the group of freshmen girls last year who thought feral cat adoption in the dorms was good idea.

Would you take a swig from the GATA Fountain? This would definitely be the quickest and most efficient way to earn a credit, were it offered. But then again, ringworm is probably a big risk here too.

Would you trade in a worthy sum of your Bean Bucks? This is tricky because there are two categories of Bean Buck users. There are those that ate at Chick-Fil-A way too often and have run out, and there are those who have so many that at this point in the semester they will never use them all, so they begin giving their ID to those in the first category to use. So, depending on which category you are in, this may or may not be doable.

Would you read an issue of the Optimist? No, that would just be too easy and more entertaining than Chapel. Give me a challenge!

Would you attend an ACU basketball game? Oh wait, they actually already did offer Chapel credits for this. Their best turn out yet. I mean for basketball, not for Chapel.

Would you walk across hot coals? OK, so that’s a little drastic and definitely more painful than going to Chapel but would honestly be a lot quicker. Some of you look like you’re standing on coals waiting by the card readers for the final “Amen,” anyway.

Would you go to the library and work on homework? Yes. Yes, dear Chapel office, that is what we would honestly love. I will be going to meet Jesus anyway after some of my finals, so ACU’s responsibility to cultivate spiritual life through Chapel might be best achieved through study.

Maybe these are a little drastic. Maybe the most sensible thing to do is stock up during Summit. But since it’s too late for that now, Chapel office, you’re free to take these ideas from us.