The university will shut down its water supply everywhere on campus except the freshman dorms, effective immediately. But fear not, a massive installation of 200 porta-potties all around campus is set to arrive.

Amidst the chaos, the university has decided to allow all freshman dorms to keep their water supply. This will not affect the water temperature, however, which is always cold, but it has started a new business idea.

There’s a group of freshmen who are uniting others across all of their dorms to charge sophomores and upperclassmen at the door in exchange for a quick trip to the bathroom. This has raised ethical concerns with the COBA administration, who were very impressed with the new idea.

Dr. Litton, director of the Griggs Center for Entrepreneurship and Philanthropy, explained that while it’s not ethical to take this catastrophe and make money out of it, he’s proud of his students.

“I was shocked at how brilliant the idea was,” Litton said. “Maybe charging for the porta-potties could be next?”

This will be the first time that the university has taken the matter of AI usage into its own hands. Following the warning of not using AI for Suitable prompts, shutting down the water supply was next in their efforts to conserve water.

Bellande Bertrand, director of Residence Life, approves this new decision. After raising the funding necessary for the porta-potties, he approved the water shutdown.

“As hard as this will be for the sophomores and upperclassmen, I don’t think we made a mistake with our decision,” said Bertrand. “Anything to protect our AI usage.”

The students who aren’t willing to crack under pressure are sticking with the new porta-potties. While they are highly efficient for the students, they are on a BYOTP basis– bring your own toilet paper.

Kevin Campbell, senior vice president of operations, was asked about the transition from bathrooms to porta-potties. He confirmed that it’s less work for him and his team, but at what cost?

“Oh, absolutely not, the porta-potties are not clean at all. Frankly, I would be worried about the diseases that will arise from this issue,” Smith said. “I would be willing to pay big bucks to use the freshmen bathrooms.”

The brightest students from COBA will continue to work hard to solve this problem by consulting AI in order to get to the bottom of why the water is quickly depleting.

If you have any questions on how AI is using up water or want to know about ways to conserve it, please refer to ChatGPT. It’ll have a better and more creative answer, as usual.